For the ladies (er...and some of you guys too)

Feast your eyes on this supple, young flesh:



I guess there are just two things I want to emphasize here. First, despite the abundance of healthy young lads in sailor suits on the cover, this is not a gay porn magazine. It is the Japanese version of TV Guide. This is the main reason I never know what's going to be on TV. Second, what the hell do you call this kind of photography? Shots of hot chicks in swimwear are collectively labeled cheesecake, and photos of muscular dudes posing seminude are beefcake. But these guys are neither chicks nor beefy. Uh... twigcake? Chickencake?

For those interested, these guys are from a boy idol band called Kat-tun and their combined talent might be enough to fill the reservoir tip on a "snug fit" condom. They are managed by confirmed pedophile Johnny Kitagawa. If you require more information, they have an extensive Wikipedia page. Knock yourself out. The Wiki entry on Kitagawa is pretty funny too. What does it cover? His molestation charges. Anything else? Nope, just molestation.

Japanese women can outrun a speeding locomotive...leap tall buildings in a single bound...

Speaking of stereotypes, I saw this funny book at our local foreign book seller.

Now, I can understand where some people would get that impression. You come to Japan, and suddenly you're surrounded by skinny young chicks. Actually, it's just that the old fat women are too intimidated by the young skinny ones to ever leave their homes, giving the false impression that the better half of the Japanese race is immune to the ravages of time and ice cream eaten in bed at two in the morning while watching Cracker...er...not that the author knows of such debauchery.


As counter-evidence to this book's title, I submit this photo of Japanese "psychic" Hosoki Kazuko. As you will note, she is both old and fat. She does, however, offer lots of great advice to young skinny chicks. For example, "shut up and get back in the kitchen, bitch." She is 23 in the photo -she is now around 40 and looks a lot like Emperor Palpatine, with huge folds of wrinkly skin sagging from her jowls. It's kind of hard to tell from this face shot, but she weighs upward of 900 pounds and has to be wheeled around on a special motorized platform. She regularly crushes defenseless puppy-dogs and small children under its merciless treads. I don't care for her TV show.