Speaking of stereotypes, I saw this funny book at our local foreign book seller.
Now, I can understand where some people would get that impression. You come to Japan, and suddenly you're surrounded by skinny young chicks. Actually, it's just that the old fat women are too intimidated by the young skinny ones to ever leave their homes, giving the false impression that the better half of the Japanese race is immune to the ravages of time and ice cream eaten in bed at two in the morning while watching Cracker...er...not that the author knows of such debauchery.
As counter-evidence to this book's title, I submit this photo of Japanese "psychic" Hosoki Kazuko. As you will note, she is both old and fat. She does, however, offer lots of great advice to young skinny chicks. For example, "shut up and get back in the kitchen, bitch." She is 23 in the photo -she is now around 40 and looks a lot like Emperor Palpatine, with huge folds of wrinkly skin sagging from her jowls. It's kind of hard to tell from this face shot, but she weighs upward of 900 pounds and has to be wheeled around on a special motorized platform. She regularly crushes defenseless puppy-dogs and small children under its merciless treads. I don't care for her TV show.
7 comments:
Yamatonokuni has spent far too much time in Japan, his sense of proportion has been permanently damaged! For those of us reading this blog from the United States exotic hottie Hosoki Kazuko is a svelt and comely young flower. According to recent reports by the bureau of labor statistics (bls) the average american now weighs 1.326x10^187 kilograms. Sea-level rise is due not to global warming but rather the average american beach-goer's seemingly limitless girth. Complementing this trend toward gigantism is the penchant for exposed skin, Imagine Hosoki Kazuko's exposed mid-rift and thong and you'll know what I see every day on campus. Someone needs to tell these people that bed-sores are not attractive! Bring on the expert from Japan; ladies, here is an onigiri and a solitary steamed string bean, take your time, its all you get until Thursday!
Wait...are you implying that American chicks have gained weight since I got here?? My impression from all the late 80s movies I've been watching was quite the opposite. I thought by now everyone had slimmed down on the Atkins diet and the streets were paved with supermodels held fast in a cocaine mortar. Crap...
I will (grudgingly) admit that part of the problem may be geography. With a recent relocation to the American South (North Carolina) I can't help but notice that deep-fat frying does indeed influence your waistline. The most impressive part is the absolute linearity of relationship between age and weight. All of the incoming freshwomen are rail-thin as any group of women I have ever seen. They must put on a consistent 3-5 pounds every year because by 30 years old they are, on average, heavier than any group of women I have seen and by 40... whoa!!! (says Keanu Reeves)
DPO, I can commiserate. Here in Japan, due to the increase of Western food many Japanese women are bulking up at an alarming rate. Why I've seen otherwise attractive you ladies who have reached the collosal girth of *70*, even *80* (!!!) pounds. At this rate, we will start to see women breaking the "50 kg line" so dreaded by Japanese females. If that happens, I may just have to relocate to a less obese country.
Damn, 50kg is about the weight of my left leg...........and I still weigh less than Hosoki Kazuko.
50kg is about the weight of my left testicle.
Elephantitis ain't all it's cracked up to be.....
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