loliconomics

I may as well just change this blog’s name to “lolicontracker” or something like that, because approx. 90% of the material is going to be me ranting about the pervasiveness of the loliphenomenon in mainstream Japan. “You’re overreacting. We all know that loliculture is relegated to a few middle-aged otaku huddling in their parents’ houses jerking off to reverse import La Blue Girl DVDs, right?” I wish. Those guys, at least, have the decency to stay the fuck out of sight. The larger issue is that you literally cannot walk through a bookstore without being visually sodomized by loliriffic imagery. If you don’t believe me look at this.

Hmm…anime drawing of 9 year-old girl proffering glimpse of immaculate white panties? I must have wandered into the curtained-off manga section again. What? I’m in the econ/finance section?! I know it’s hard to market books on economic theory, especially when you’re specifically targeting the pedophile demographic, but did they really have to go there? Maybe I’m turning into a western-morality Nazi, but come on. A modicum of decorum, if you please.

Free market

Unbridled capitalism, it’s argued, will eventually lead to everything being commoditized and assigned a monetary value. Japan perhaps makes the strongest case for this theory. There is a niche retail market here for just about everything including spit, feces and teddy bears modeled on Korean soap opera heartthrobs. I just hope this store isn't selling what I think it is.

Worrying and Start

In Japan pretty much all books, be they Japanese or foreign, are fitted with a little paper wrap tucked around the dust jacket. These generally bear large, eye-catching marketing phrases, like “10 MILLION COPIES SOLD” or “CONTAINS GRAPHIC QUADRUPLE FISTING ACTION” (as in the case of the book partially visible on the far left). However, the positioning of these marketing wrappers can lead to comical results, as I found in our local Maruzen. The Japanese slogan printed on the wrap reads “OPENS PATHS”…

Abeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeebah!!!!

You see some odd advertisements in Japanese train stations. This one purports to be advertising a sort of night-school for computer illiterates who want to learn how to write in kusachu or whatever. However, I think it’s obvious from the picture that all three of the models are getting blowjobs. This probably also explains why it’s shot from the waist up. Needless to say, the guy on left is furiously shooting his wad even as the woman (?) in center nears the peak of her climax. The woman on right is clearly the most uptight of the group, and therefore just smiles politely and fiddles with her scarf thing while her partner earnestly, but somewhat clumsily, attends to her clitoris. The blue letters at the bottom of the ad are a direct translation of Robbie Williams’ immortal lyrics: “Get your rocks off Get your rocks off, honey Shake it now now Get’em off downtown.”

Splashguard not included

There’s a Japanese verb, gaman suru, which roughly means “to put up with all kinds of outrageous crap because to do so is considered a virtue by your culture”. I think this row of urinals perfectly exemplifies the Japanese spirit of gaman. At some point, a handicapped-accessible stall was installed directly in front of the last urinal, leaving approximately 10 inches of room for the user. Nothing says gaman like cramming yourself into a tiny crevice and urinating on yourself due to splash damage from a rediculously positioned commode. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to wedge myself in for a piss.