This almost made Mr. K cry

Holy Jim Crow era stereotypes Batman! Shoei Bread's "Southern Country Black Bread" is yet another example of Japanese snack-food marketing gone horribly wrong. (BTW, in Japan 'black bread' refers to bread made with molasses, not that dense German stuff that facilitates pooping.) My pal Mr. Kura took one look at the picaninny caricature on the package and said "dude, that is so mean" before devouring the bread because he was pretty hungry.

No gay burgers!

Activist liberal fast food shops are intent on destroying the institution of hamburgers as being between one beef patty and one bun, with optional lettuce, tomato, onions, processed American cheese and pickle. Some restaurants are fruiting up our burgers with condiments such as aged cheddar, ginger sauce, green chili, chutney and avocado. The most egregious of the radical liberals even replace the patty with soy products. I was therefore relieved to see Japanese fast food chain Lotteria fighting back against these activists with its "Straight Burger" campaign. This is a clarion call to action! I hope that those of you who cherish family values will urge your local fast food outlets to emulate Lotteria in taking a stand for traditional hamburgers.

A return to cultural sophistication

I know it has been a quantifiable assload of time since the last post, but I was doing some deep reflective soul searching. Is this blog really about all that is lewd and unseemly in Japan -blowjob jokes and food sodomy? As a self-proclaimed "Japanoblog" do I not owe my millions (by which I mean 4) readers cultural insights, comparative analysis and hard-hitting critiques of the white imperial colonialism that is the yoke around modern Asia's neck? Is it not time to lay aside the childish sexual innuendo for something more lofty and universal? By thunder, YES! Hence, starting today we turn over a new leaf of sophistication and cultural sensitivity at Yamatonokuni.

But first let me show you this picture of a humorously named Vietnamese coffee I found at our local import store.


It consists of 100% pure Robusta, which is to coffee what a kick in the face is to not having a nosebleed, or what happoshu is to beer. If you are actually foolish enough to use it to make coffee, it tastes kind of like pencil shavings boiled in motor oil with a hint of Febreeze. OK, it's not that bad, but if you let it sit too long it starts to smell like burning tire.