Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Loose firey bowels


Ah Japan, ye land of weird ass snack foods. No sooner was the ink dry on the pudding blurb then I remembered this piece of work. These Karamucho sugarless candies are flavored with zesty artificial pineapple and .03 mg of RAW CAPSAICIN. The package warns that ingesting too many may cause “loose bowels".

Monday, February 20, 2006

Creme de la horreur

pudding of death
Meito’s creamy Kuro Koshou no Kaori pudding begs the question: wtf? Essentially, a crème caramel pudding, but with a horrible, horrible twist. Yes, that is a fucking pepper grinder on the peel-away top. What they thought a hint of black pepper would add to this dessert is anyone’s guess. I suppose if you can’t decide between a nice pudd and a thick, peppery steak, you’re in luck.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The trees will save you!

In the city where I live, a suicidal maniac plowed his truck into a pedestrian-only shopping arcade killing several people last April. The city was shocked and outraged. The local government’s solution was to stick a couple of potted trees in front of the arcade entrances because, obviously, no-one would drive their vehicle into a planter that may or may not weigh more than 50 lbs. Then, in December it happened again. A different psycho decided to take a spin down the pedestrian arcade. Amazingly no one was killed. This time, the government sprang to attention like the steely cock of Johnny Kitagawa upon spying a 13 year-old boy and proceeded to…ADD MORE FUCKING PLANTERS! I finally got around to checking out their handiwork last week. Here is a picture of the impenetrable barrier that was erected to protect us all from crazy assholes. I’m so glad I pay my taxes.
They'll never get through that!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Asadachi!

Sunrise over urban squalor.
Ahh...sunrise over the hood. Today's Japanese lesson: asadachi. Comprised of "asa" (morning) and "tachi" (to 'stand up'). The same condition is commonly referred to as "morning wood" in my native country.