Wednesday, February 15, 2006
The trees will save you!
In the city where I live, a suicidal maniac plowed his truck into a pedestrian-only shopping arcade killing several people last April. The city was shocked and outraged. The local government’s solution was to stick a couple of potted trees in front of the arcade entrances because, obviously, no-one would drive their vehicle into a planter that may or may not weigh more than 50 lbs. Then, in December it happened again. A different psycho decided to take a spin down the pedestrian arcade. Amazingly no one was killed. This time, the government sprang to attention like the steely cock of Johnny Kitagawa upon spying a 13 year-old boy and proceeded to…ADD MORE FUCKING PLANTERS! I finally got around to checking out their handiwork last week. Here is a picture of the impenetrable barrier that was erected to protect us all from crazy assholes. I’m so glad I pay my taxes.
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4 comments:
Hey, the word on the street is that these planters are going to be protected by giant steel pipes. Protecting the environment, protection oft he economy
I personally am upset that the local government rejected my offer to wear my "Masterblaster" costume and stroll up and down the arcade with a midget on my shoulders to deter crime. Ah well. There's no helping some folks.
Which is bigger a midget, or a hobbit? And if a midget is bigger than a hobbit, what is the difference attributed to? Because if you think about it, the soles of the feet of a hobbit, resemble those thick soled boots that were all the rage in Japan just a few years back.
Oh for the love of...NOT AGAIN. OK people, this is the last time I explain this, so listen closely. A midget gets a +3 to their Avoid Poisonous Reptile saving throw, unless they are in the vacinity of a Pool of Clairvoyance, in which case it is a +4. Hobbits get an automatic backstab bonus equal to their character level divided by 2 (rounded up). Both take penalties in their vs. charm spell saving throws. Midgets DO NOT get an automatic Stealth bonus, unlike hobbits who do unless they have been cursed or are wearing anything over Studded Leather armor.
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