Activist liberal fast food shops are intent on destroying the institution of hamburgers as being between one beef patty and one bun, with optional lettuce, tomato, onions, processed American cheese and pickle. Some restaurants are fruiting up our burgers with condiments such as aged cheddar, ginger sauce, green chili, chutney and avocado. The most egregious of the radical liberals even replace the patty with soy products. I was therefore relieved to see Japanese fast food chain Lotteria fighting back against these activists with its "Straight Burger" campaign. This is a clarion call to action! I hope that those of you who cherish family values will urge your local fast food outlets to emulate Lotteria in taking a stand for traditional hamburgers.
3 comments:
Ummm, I think there has been a misunderstanding. I realize that the english caption reads "Straight Burger" but I suggest that this is an error in transliteration. The katakana clearly indicates "Sutore-to Ba-ga"... say this outloud a few times, should the English translation be "Straight Burger" or "Straight Bugger"? Look carefully at the picture again, does the gentleman look like he is enjoying a burger or bearing down on it? I posit the poor man went into Lotteria looking for a tasty snack and got something very, very different.
I'll have one straight burger please, hold secret sauce thank you!
Oh snap! Thanks for pointing that out! That explains Lotteria's cryptic Help Wanted posters. For the longest time, I thought they were looking for some dude *named* "Roger". I'm totally signing up to work there.
Update: I tried the Straight Burger (or bugger if you prefer)...boy...what a fucking letdown. Wafer thin burger, a bit of lettuce, no onion... not even a jolly backdoor surprise. Despite being a bit on the fruity side, the Freshness Burger Double Double Classic Burger beats the Straight Burger hands down.
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